33- week bumpdate

I started posting these updates so that those closest to me get the updates on the growing belly. All of our family lives far away and a lot of our closest friends do too so it was the easiest way for them to be a part of it. That still is the sole reason why I do these but I also want to normalize the wacky and unpredictable things/feelings that come with pregnancy, hence why I try to be as candid as possible. I realize some people probably think I should keep that to myself (although those people prob stopped reading this after two updates) but I have found so much relief through others ability to be honest and open about the good, the bad and the ugly. I am hopeful that my lack of filter helps someone else feel normal when they aren't 100% attached to the baby inside of them or they find themselves stuck on the floor of a grocery store flailing around like an upside down turtle. *Drop mic*

How far along: 33 weeks (and man am I starting to really slack at this....)

 Baby Size: a pineapple! By goly that seems huge!

 Weight gain: 22.8 ibs gained -- Almost 3 pounds in 2 weeks.... guess I should lay off the ice cream and pool snacks. Numbers aside (because I know that I'm small...I'm short and designed small so no scoffing allowed), it is shocking to see something so far off from your normal weight. I'm happy because I know this means I have a growing baby in there but def still makes you go ' woah.' And I still have potentially ~9 weeks left... we could do a lot of packing on the pounds in these last weeks.

Maternity clothes: I really want an excuse to buy something new but I can't justify it this late in the game. up to ~9 more weeks of the same outfits...here we go.

Stretch marks: still nothing except maybe one (the same thing that appeared awhile back). It looks more like ring worm except its not itchy but at this point I'm guessing its a stretch mark since it hasn't gone away. 

Sleep: OK struggling now in this area. It sucks. I can never get comfortable. Nothing helps. I can't sleep on my back because after a minute I feel like I'm suffocating or something and laying on my sides hurts my hips. Maybe I should try sleep standing. That could be a thing, right?

Gender:  femalia.... still name thinking. We love the name Olive but would prob go with Olivia and call her Olive. I'm starting to lean more with just going for Olive but we'll see. I also found a name last night that I like (Mike, not 100% sure) - Neriah. It supposedly means light, lamp of the Lord. I love the meaning and it's def unique. Maybe a middle name? Although I also love Grace for a middle name. Oh, choices. Blech.

Picking a name is hard. I want to pick out a name that is solid and has good meaning. But at the same time, I want it to be something we like. Plus, your stuck once you pick it. No going back.

Movement: All the time. I'm getting more used to it though. I think it kind of hurt once she beefed up and moved around a lot. It doesn't anymore but everyone seemed to think I was a freak for saying it hurt. FYI, it may hurt initially while you get used to be drop kicked constantly. Don't let people make you feel like a wimp. 

She's still head down. ahhhhhh she's getting ready for take off.

Best moment this week: Doing our birthing classes together. Not only did we get to do a lot of activities together and just learn together but I think it's a great thing to do to help build confidence and engagement from the dad. Mike's not a huge reader/researcher, although he is reading The Birth Partner, which is not a bad thing but it's just hard for him to have something pregnancy related to do. This really brought him into the labor picture and made him feel confident. Some dads do more than mom (reading tons of books, talking to people about experiences, researching and signing up for things) but for the dad that doesn't know what to do, this was a great thing to do together. Plus, we both heard the same thing and talked through them together so it helped us be on the same page. I would recommend it solely for the benefit of dad (plus its super helpful for mom too!).

How funny is this?!

looking forward to: Baby showers this weekend! I can't wait! I am SOOOO incredibly awkward when I'm the center of attention (and even worse when opening gifts.. I don't know what it is) but I really can't wait to celebrate our little nugget. Plus, who doesn't love a room full of your most favorite people? It doesn't get better than that.

Food cravings:  Well....ice cream and chocolate milk. Three pounds in two weeks = my inability to say no to ice cream and full fat, local chocolate milk. OMG it was so good. Straight from the cow's teet. I wish I was a baby cow.

Anything making you queasy or sick: nope -- still having heartburn a lot but that's otay.

Labor Signs: Well, weak stomachs or people that really just don't want to know too much, stop reading. No braxton hicks that I'm aware of. I occasionally have a crampish type feeling thing but I'm not sure it's anything..prob just a gas bubble. However, I did see a mucusy, half-dollar sized (a little bigger) thingamajig in the toilet the other day. My midwife said it was probably part of my mucus plug. She said it can come up to 6 weeks beforehand. So that's kind of cool.

What I miss:  My back and feet not hurting. That seems to be constant these days. Sitting, standing, laying..all the same. Hurts. Lame.

Symptoms: back pain, hip pain, feet pain and constant complaining (is that a symptom... I think so.)

Not sure if I mentioned this last time but I have developed a lovely skin funk. It's basically chronic armpit abscess/cysts. Appetizing, eh? They've never seen it appear just in pregnancy but pregnancy I guess brought it out to the open. It's rather annoying and painful at times but goes to show that the weirdest things can happen when your hormones are all over the place. 

I will say, I have had a very good pregnancy. I know of women that have had pregnancies way worse than mine. With that said, your pregnancy is your pregnancy. It does not deflate your feelings, your pains, etc. I constantly feel myself feeling guilty the second I say anything negative or complain but if it sucks, it sucks. No beating around that bush. 

Nursery: Made some little pinch pots with Anna (who is a potter and knows what she is doing.. I do not). We're doing four in the nursery. Three will be hanging and one to sit somewhere. She took them to get fired and then we glaze them! 

Other than that....not a thang.  Waiting for the money tree so I can buy all the decorative stuff I want to..... come on money tree. Grow! Grow!

Belly Button in or out? still the same -- I will finally admit that it's out.

Wedding rings on or off? On

Mood:  I went through a season of anxiety but looking back it had nothing to do with labor, having a baby, the life change, etc. I think it just had to do with feeling overwhelmed with what is currently going on. I felt completely underwater and like I was failing at most things. Working, doctors appointments constantly (2-4 a week between all my different things..ugh), researching (I'm seriously addicted but I just love it so much), home maker, nesting and just normal life in general. 

When it comes to baby stuff, I'm to the freaking moon. I have no idea what she's like but I love her. I think she's cute, fo sho.  I'm way too excited. I can't wait. I can't wait to meet other moms, to build community with them, to learn from them, to have a cute little baby to take care, to fail constantly and just figure it out, for the unpredictability and all the life changes it will bring. And OMG I can't wait to snuggle the heck out of that girl. I hope she's touchy feely because both Mike and I are and I'm already obsessed with baby wearing and I don't even have a baby yet. Ohhh and seeing Mike as a dad. He's going to be so cute. I just have a huge desire for family (and have as long as I can remember) and could pour all my energy into that. I'd say it is def my passion......

Alas, today has been weird. I've cried three times already. I don't even remember over what. A cute baby picture, who knows? Hopefully that's over and done with though. Maybe I'll watch a sappy girly movie on Netflix. Give myself a good cry.